famed trash

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Jessica Simpson cheated on Nick

File Under:
Jessica Simpson is shocked.

"Yawn! What else is new?" I know, but I had to swallow the bitter pill and get the obvious out of my system. Whew! I feel so much better already.

Let's just hope Jenn Rivell, Bam Margera's ex-girlfriend, feels the same way, now that she's gone public with, uh, the shocking news! Yeah, that's it...

Bam's ex-girlfriend: "He cheated on me with 35 to 50 girls. And yes, he did 'ef' Jessica Simpson."
Male Radio DJ #1: "Wait, what did you say? He what?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Yes, he did 'EF' Jessica Simpson."
Female Radio DJ: "And you know that for a fact?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Yes, for a fact. He ended up- woke up in her bed. Yes, I got- have an email. I have- He told me all about it."
Female Radio DJ: [gasp] "Now, how long have you guys been broken up?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Two-and-a-half months now. The whole thing is a lie. Everything that is- The whole show even is a lie."
Female Radio DJ: [stunned] "Really?!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "It's all BS."
Female Radio DJ: "Oh my!"
Male Radio DJ #2: "When did the Jessica Simpson thing go down? Was that- When did that happen? Were you guys-"
Female Radio DJ: [cuts in] "Wasn't it in Vegas at the Palms?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "That was- No, that was in L.A. He was- actually he was at a HIM show with Ryan, and Jessica was there, apparently. And they were there and she started grinding up on him and he was like, what the hell, this is Jessica Simpson?!"
Male Radio DJ #1: "Nice!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "I hope it burns when he pees."
Male Radio DJ #2: "Whoa!"
Female Radio DJ: "Well yeah. Get it off your chest, girl."
Male Radio DJ #1: "What made you decide to call Q102 and tell us?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Somebody asked me to call. Somebody- One of my friends called and said you guys were talking about it the other day and they were like, we hope Jen calls in. So I was like, you know what, what the hell."
Male Radio DJ #2: "And then, I believe is the dad. He-"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: [cuts in] "Phil can't keep his mouth shut. He tells the truth just like I do. Me and Phil are the only people that can tell the truth and the rest of them are all a bunch of BS'ers"
Female Radio DJ: "I did hear that his father-"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: [cuts in] "All paid by Bam. And they are all paid to lie for him."
Female Radio DJ: [gasp]
Male Radio DJ #1: "Whoa!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Did you guys see the clips?"
Male Radio DJ #1: "Yeah!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "All right, when he said he pays Brandon to agree with him..."
Male Radio DJ #1: "Oh yes! Yes, yes!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "That is a fact!"
Male Radio DJ #1: "Right."
Male Radio DJ #2: "Jen is on the line from West Chester. She's Bam's ex. And you broke up with him, what, two months ago you said, Jen?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "After seven years and a ring."
Female Radio DJ: "Whoa!"
Male Radio DJ #2: "Now let me ask you this-"
Male Radio DJ #1: [cuts in] "Wait, you were engaged to him?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Yeah!"
Male Radio DJ #1: "Oh, I didn't know you were engaged to him."
Female Radio DJ: "Yeah..."
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Oh yeah!"
Male Radio DJ #2: "Why should we believe you? I'm just... I'm gonna be devil's advocate here. Maybe you wanna get him back, so I'm gonna call Q102, I'm gonna call Chio in the Morning and I'm gonna throw him under the bridge, under the bus, whatever."
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "If I wanted to get him back, I'd sue him. Because he put me [unintelligible] on a videotape."
Female Radio DJ: [gasp]
Male Radio DJ: "Whoa!"
Female Radio DJ: "Wow!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "And without permission on CKY 4 and Haggard. I could sue him over that. It's not about the money. It's about people knowing the truth. And I don't want a bunch of kids walking around idolizing somebody who they shouldn't be. I mean, people... people need to be real in this world and in this lifetime. And if you can't be then I don't know what to tell you. That's why I'm doing it."
Female Radio DJ: "Whoa!"
Male Radio DJ #2: "Well, obviously this is gonna get out and this is gonna be a big bombshell for Jessica Simpson and her people."
Female Radio DJ: "Yeah!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Well, she humped PJ too while they were doing The Dukes of Hazard."
Male Radio DJ #1: "Who? Who?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "PJ! Oh, oh, sorry - Johnny Knoxville."
Male Radio DJ #2: "Oh okay. Johnny Knoxville. Really?!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Yeah."
Female Radio DJ: "There were lots of stories about that going around."
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "She... she... she is- she gets- Yeah, she... she is as dumb as she looks."
Male Radio DJ #1: "Now let me ask you, Jen, how did you find out about Bam and Jessica? Did he tell you?"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: "Yes!"
Male Radio DJ #1: "What did he say exactly? Did he- I mean, who comes out and says, oh I had sex with Jessica?!"
Bam's ex-girlfriend: [quotes] "You think you’re so 'effin' special?! I got to 'ef' Jessica Simpson this weekend, so I can replace you in a minute."
Female Radio DJ: [gasp]
Male Radio DJ #2: "Ooh, I see!"
Female Radio DJ: "No, he did not say that?!"
Male Radio DJs: "Whoa!"

Well, there's nothing left to add other than: Viva La Bam... and BAM... and BAM!

P.S. Feel free to update your vote in our current 'Nick & Jessica divorce poll' now that you know the ugly, ugly "truth".

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